vaq – hustler plans to release 3D porn parody of avatar, but what i’m really anticipating is the porn parody of the 2008 film, ‘Doubt’…wait.

JadeXXAdrian – Its a nipple clamp!

asemajh – I been craving some good ole drunk s*x TMI –I KNo!

conceptcreature – In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 dentists preferred blowjobs over Crest Whitening Strips.

BeeCovuhhh – i dont really know what happened but i am pretty sure that woman was having s*x with a robot

meltintalle – Hmm. If my grandpa mows the back yard I’ll have to stop watching gay porn on youtube. Bummer.

sucittaM – I’m sorry grocery store worker. Don’t ask why I need 3 varieties of chili powder if you don’t want to hear about my s*x life.

sixinchwlkr – My baby’s p***s would make my v****a real happy right abt now. His ugly school far tho. Skype s*x lmao ☺

toribrook - So jessi just tried to fist me? He’s cuuute

spydathaking – #rent-a-vixen will f**k you and yo boys for a 2.4 second cameo in yo video

Darth_Nater – Quick! Someone shove a dollar in my underwear. And shove a Carmel apple in my mouth.

HindSight5050 – My wife has this crazy teeth brushing fetish. When things get hot she always asks “did you brush today” and when I say yes we totally do it.

uglyEgo I gotta find out if they make Plastic Bedsheet for a King Size bed. We almost had a Baby Oil Mistake last night!

EatKathryn - Everyone awkwardly walked in on my brother and his girlfriend…

taystwin_14 – OH MY GODDD I HAVEN’T READ PORN IN ALMOST A WEEK. BRB.

corneil - @iNipple did you sleep with boss’s wife, secretary or daughter?

AllyTheWoo – why can’t we have an earthquake here? i haven’t had an orgasm in weeks!

ramram001 - Walk of Shame on a Thursday morning!?! I guess being a slut is not just a weekend job.

56villian – if i had the chance i would take obamas wife down no condom

GirlGenius26 – Hey Ticketmaster, the least you could do is buy me dinner before you f**k me.