Ivanosaurus – Still waiting for the inevitable porn version of A Nightmare On Elm Street where teen girls are having wet dreams about Freddie Krueger.

maryypopkens I may be 15 but i will fight to the death in musical chairs….

which_chris In our society murder is wrong. But sometimes you have a dream where a clown holds a gun to your head and tells you to kill. WHAT THEN!

iamjordyn – Ummmm is there a dead animal on JT’s face?

jedbolt - We get it. You guys think zombie jesus jokes are hilarious. f**k off already.

DrPerlmutter – @Beckett41319 It is fun compared to what I had to deal with yesterday…I still feel like I smell like dead people

CodyTank – I’m pretty sure that if I need to know where to find some meth I could just ask my waitress right now.

operationclover - @megandiviney > go and get drunk and have random s*x, but youre the only one stupid enough to post it to twitter. youre pathetic.

Beaker1982 How do you tell your wife that your girlfriend is pregnant

LOVEHOGMUSIC – i was thinking that if you got a serious case of genital warts all the bumpies would feel like the rotating pearls in my top notch vibrator.

mattklute - Every time I hit f9 in chatroulette, I hope the next one is a suicide.

randomscreename – I wonder how many people get killed while they have an erection?

RealDealPGH – @Drect I’m leaning toward Kanye West, Bill O Rielly, Britney Spears, and Jared from Subway

elizawhat – Apparently someone very angry found my old blog by searching for “f**k physician’s assistants.” What did they do to you?

IT_was_That_Guy – Craving vag right now. I need my fix!

ladybugtoos - @amberkay04 Shoot the dog, but you gotta make it look like suicide. Write a note… sign it with a paw print. Not sure how to get blowback