Ms_Knox – I have a sprained finger, broken toe nail, and battle wounds EVERYWHERE. Not only from the fight but from the stripper pole on the party bus

Facelesscog - Reason 42 Why Being a Double Amputee is Cool: You always win those “Who’s got the biggest scar” contests.


michaeljaquins – Maybe I should hit the strip club tonight. I better wash my favorite pair of sweat pants just in case!

Cpt_Red_Beard – @Classic__Rocker did you see the pics after I popped it and got the puss out of it?

Neil_red – Me dad asked what colour I wanted my room to be painted. I says I wanted it to be the colour of Lee cattermoles foreskin.

DavePrague – How come Jesus is the only zombie we’re not afraid of

prince16greg – #WhenIGrowOld ima purchase lots of grandpa diapers.

IAmAntilia – My v****a looks like Medusa’s head. I’m not hairy, I have snakes protruding from it at all angles. Feeding them is a nightmare.

Pooh04 – Next time I manscape I should avoid the after shave!

KeemTheCEO – Bout to pull my zipper down and get some air flowin threw my nuts out this muhfucka #nohomo its hot as balls out this b***h! #dontjudgeme

vaq – hustler plans to release 3D porn parody of avatar, but what i’m really anticipating is the porn parody of the 2008 film, ‘Doubt’…wait.

SofaKingHammie – i wish i had #oneofmyfollowers d**k in a box so that way when i get that feeling i can get sexual healing

cougar1993 – school starts tomorrow. f**k me in the a*s with a roll of quarters. wtf.

AKutscher – Alright! Looks like Argus is on the mend. This am’s poop was still soft but mucous was not as thick. Gave him some flagyl 2 get thru the day

GrimGravyDavey – Something outta of a porn dude! Like wth! Its all over the ceiling, all over my bed…..

JadeXXAdrian – Its a nipple clamp!

TOMICYANIDE – I’m the illest rapper to hold a cordless, patrollin boarders lookin for a hooker to punch in the mouth with a roll of quarters!

sucittaM – Great minds think alike, and my wife and I just simultaneously farted. WHAT’S UP?

LisaTurner88 - wonders…Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying, “If you build it, they will come.”?

BlakcRoyalty – Wht it that spot called on your a*s crack where you whipe and the tissue get stuck BLAKC boi ROYALTY